Spill the Smut
Where the books are spicy, the conversations are juicy, and the stories rarely fade to black. I dive headfirst into the delicious world of smut with the people who live and breathe it—authors, creators, and bookish babes who aren’t afraid to spill all the steamy tea. Through interviews and unfiltered chats, I'll explore everything from fan-favorites to behind-the-scenes secrets of the bookish world. This is your escape into the world of steam, swoon and unapologetically bookish.
So get comfy. Pour a drink. And get ready to spill the smut.
Spill the Smut
Catch Up with Fab
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
We are living proof that timing can get weird fast: two best friends, pregnant at the same time, with due dates only four days apart. Once we say it out loud, the conversation turns into the kind of catch-up you actually want when life is changing in real time. We talk about trying to conceive, the emotional whiplash of “it happened” after months of thinking and waiting, and why having a friend who truly gets it can make pregnancy feel less isolating.
From there, we get painfully honest about the day-to-day stuff people gloss over. I share what it was like traveling in Italy while pregnant, dealing with intense heat, long walking days, and the small sadness of being offered limoncello at the end of dinner. We also swap stories about pregnancy brain, memory glitches, and the moment you realize your body is doing so much that your mind is just along for the ride. Then we go straight into cravings and aversions, including the truly chaotic combos, plus the more practical side of pregnancy nutrition like protein, fish rules, and why “what you can eat” advice changes depending on where you live.
Cover Art by: moi
Intro/Outro Music: positive vibes by nanaacom on Capcut
Contact Email: spillthesmutpodcast@gmail.com
Podcast IG: @spillthesmutpodcast TT: @spillthesmutpodcast
Jordan IG: @sipsoffiction TT: @sipsoffiction
Welcome Back And Loose Agenda
JordanAnd I am back with another episode on Spill the Smut. And I have a very special guest today who has already been on, but I am so happy that she's back. And Christ.
FabienneAgain, the same freaking pedestal. Hi. Oh my goodness.
JordanUm, you deserve all the pedestals, if that even works. But like them all.
FabienneSure, it works. It works now.
JordanYes. Hi, babe. Hi. Which honestly, if anybody knows us from the smuddy days or the bookish hour days, honestly, this episode's just gonna be just like that. Where it's gonna be the most random episode on the planet. And honestly, I'm kind of here for it. And I hope you are too. Me pointing to you, Fob, and then you as in the people.
FabienneVery meta of you. Um, yes, I am so much, I'm so, so much ready. Does that make sense? Yes, I'm very much ready. Oh my god. Okay, so there are a few things I feel like not necessarily not necessarily that we have to discuss, but I feel like just as you know, you and me being really good friends, we have to talk about um so a little bit of a transparency card here. We kind of discussed this beforehand before we um press recording.
JordanWe did, but we needed to like I need we needed to get each other's feelings. Like, how do you feel about talking about XYZ? And very fair, yes, right? Like it's just we're being considerate. Gosh darn it.
FabienneWe kind of have to be from from this point on, don't you think?
JordanWait, were we not considerate before?
FabienneMore considerate, more considerate. Oh sorry, I'm trying to.
JordanAre you talking about this situation? Okay, yeah. Yes, that then I agree with you.
FabienneAre they talking about?
JordanUm but it no, but it's so funny because I feel like okay, so we're not we're gonna say what it is, but we're not gonna say quite yet. And when you listen, you you'll probably know. But as we're recording this, we you kind of posted about it, but I don't think people picked up on what you were posting, and I haven't posted about it.
FabienneNope. Nope. So I we are still waiting for the big reveal of yours.
JordanI know because I'm like, I don't know. Like, I took like two videos, and so I'm kind of like deciding on the two, and I need to like figure out like what I want to do, but I'm probably the thing is is like I have to post well, I don't have to, but I'm gonna post about it before this episode airs. So then people will know. Mm-hmm.
FabienneDot dot dot.
JordanSo do you wanna do the big oh my god, I watched sorry, side note. I watched Mama Mia on the plane home from Italy, and you know, the one part when she's talking about like the journal and her mom being like, and dot dot dot. So that's making me think about that.
FabienneHonestly, that's such a good no, no, no. You should edit this episode like with that sound in the background as well, because it kind of like flows together.
JordanOh my gosh, that would be so cool, unless I get like copyright issues. Uh no, I don't think so. I think I'm too small for that.
FabienneI I didn't want to say, but I'm so sorry, but I'm sorry. No, but honestly, you can get away with it. I mean, that's like the you know, that's like the the the upside of it all. Silver lining, if you will.
JordanThat is true. That is a good point. Okay, so Bob, do you want do you want to reveal the dot dot dot?
The Pregnancy Reveal Moment
FabienneYeah, sure. Um, I am pregnant.
JordanDo you? Wait, was it you? Wait, was it you or me that sent it to you about like the when you tell your best friend that you're pregnant and you like reveal the pregnancy announcement and it shows you that they're pregnant, and then both of them are like but then as you back up, basically the one friend is like extremely pregnant.
FabienneAnd I I'm gonna show you something right now because I feel fucking blew at it. Wait, look at this. I'm you have you have like full vision. It is a bump.
JordanIt is a bump. How stinking cute. The bump is bumping. The bump is bumping. I feel like I'm finally getting a bump myself, which finally, but now it's like starting to feel uncomfortable to like display anyway.
FabienneOh yeah, damn.
JordanYeah, it's not.
FabienneYeah, I am I'm gonna say this though. I am actually so happy that we're literally in the same boat here. But like almost to today, because this makes it all the more weirder and like freakier.
JordanLike I so like I'm I'm gonna tell the people because I've been telling everybody how we're pregnant at the same time. And I've been telling like all my friends, I was like, I don't like some of my friends are already know that I think we're twin flames, and some people don't fully understand like what twin flames are, and look it up. It does not need to be something romantic. No, no, or maybe it is no, okay, awkward. Maybe, maybe no, but really it doesn't, it can be.
FabienneI mean, we we spend a very romantic getaway in Dallas, mind you, a few years ago. And then again, you went to visit my home in Amsterdam.
JordanSo, you know, that could be a get the dot dot dot. Right, right. But anyways, so but like one of the main things about twin flames is like you can either not essentially build each other up, but build each other up or hold each other back. And I know that you were trying, I don't know how long you guys were trying for, but I knew you guys were trying.
FabienneYes. Um, well, not not actually too long in hindsight. I mean, to be fair, everyone who is trying to conceive will probably agree with me. From the moment that you have decided with your partner, like, hey, okay, we're gonna do this, like this is the next journey that we're, you know, gonna, I guess, adventure into. Um, it feels so ridiculously long. But we started trying this January. Well, and we'll talk about this later, of course, because it's another discussion topic. But you you and I both know when we felt pregnant, as in you and I. So technically it's not that long.
JordanBut I guess it's it's not okay. That makes me feel better, but I think it's so funny because finally Nick and I decided
Twin Flames And Matching Due Dates
Jordanthat we were gonna start trying, and then basically I take out my IUD, and then bam, I'm pregnant. But the funny thing is, but the funny thing is, is you told me first that you were pregnant, and then I find out like a week or two later that I'm pregnant, and then our due dates are like four days off.
FabienneIt is the creation, really. It's it's insane.
JordanHonestly, like, what are the odds? And so, like, this is where I feel like in a way, do we hold? Did I hold you back? Like, I really think we are always played.
FabienneOh, that is interesting.
JordanLike, could if we were if we started to try in January too, like, would that have meant that you would have gotten pregnant sooner? Or honestly, both of us would have gotten pregnant sooner. Psych note, yes, but almost like you were waiting for me, huh?
FabienneMaybe, right? Maybe, because I do want to be able to, you know, like I won't, I want to be able to share this with someone other than my partner, of course, because you need to have like girlfriends in your life as well, who you can discuss this with like into the depths of it all. Yes. Um, so maybe, like on a very right, right spectacular, cellular, and I don't know, astrological, astrological, magical level. Sure. All the adjectives, right?
JordanYes. So I that's like what I think, and I think it's so cool because then we will also be in the throes of postpartum together.
FabienneAnd oh my goodness, that actually means that we can call each other at the most random times because every everybody is awake at this point.
JordanNo, exactly.
FabienneWith you, with me, with my kid not being able to sleep.
JordanNo, the entire clock. Oh wow, but like what are the odds? And it's so cool.
FabienneThere are no odds. This was just meant to be, you know, twin flames, again, like you said before. Exactly.
JordanIt's it's coincidence, I think not, and it's fate.
FabienneIt is. I am really curious about now those videos because I know that you talked to me a little while back about how you potentially wanted to go about like the um reveal, like either just like for friends or just like on Instagram. And I I think it was primarily for Instagram specifically. Um, but I'm really curious now because I know that you have this one in mind. I won't say which one because I don't want to, you know, spill the beans here, but I know that you have one with like the turning around and then like the yeah, okay. Okay. I'm really curious how that one turned out.
JordanOkay,
Planning The Instagram Announcement
Jordanso there's because we did one, because basically this will be out by the time this episode airs, but we did one in Rome and then we did one in Naples. So I really like the way Naples turned out because we kind of changed it up a bit. The only thing is it's really dark. So I need to see if I can like try to lighten it in cap cut or some type of editing thing without change like distorting it too much. But Rome, it's like the perfect light and you can see everything, but it's not my favorite video. So I think we need to see how, but I might just go with the dark video if I can't lighten it because you get the gist of it. It's like you know what it is.
FabienneHopefully. Well, people will by this point.
JordanI would I would hope so. I'd hope so.
FabienneHonestly, I would go with the video that you feel most comfortable with and that you like like the most. So then maybe the darker one. Okay. Obviously, I have no clue which video technically you're talking about because I haven't seen those shots. But if you feel more now to say that you're leaning toward the darker one, I say upload that one. Yeah, I think that's a good one. But you have to send me both because then I can also share my veto. No kidding. I know. I have no veto.
JordanBut do you think you would like do something else again? Because I feel like people didn't realize.
FabienneYeah, no. This is actually a very nice segue into another discussion point that I really want to talk to you about. This has nothing to do with what we discussed beforehand, like with the bullet points that we didn't really have, but okay. Um bullet points that were bullet points. They were just brainstorming, like whatever. Um no. One, because uh like the Instagram that I have now, it's like so much more lifestyle and more of like a personal account rather than I'm still like, you know milking out the the last drops of bookstagram if that sort of makes sense. Um so whatever I am posting, it's more for the inner circle. And also I found out that you can also, um, other than stories, you can post posts for your close friends.
JordanYes. I think well actually, I think that was because you told me that. Oh, did I? I I think so, yeah.
FabienneGirl, you are now the social media expert. You should know this.
JordanI know nothing.
FabienneJordan.
JordanI just all I know is my corporate girly like videos do the best, so I just keep I keep doing them.
FabienneAnd fair because they are actually really cool to watch. Also on TikTok, I've been liking every time if ever like every single one that I come across. I'm like tap, tap, tap, tap. I'm like that lizard. That one meme.
JordanOh my god, the happy lizard, like when they're like, Oh, why do you keep oh no, maybe that's a different one. Oh no, oh that is a different one.
FabienneYeah, where he just like repeats what he's what he's he just says lizard all the time, and he just like presses this no, it's the more funnier in my head. Are we not talking about the same thing?
JordanWait, I'm thinking of like the videos where the people will be like everybody's like, Oh, it's so cringe that you're like posting this stuff, and then it will be like my best friend or my mom, and it's like them liking everything.
FabienneOh, but technically that's the same name, it's just like the last bit then in this sense. Um but wait, do you want to talk about Italy first? Maybe or aren't we not talking
Italy While Pregnant In Heat
Fabienneabout this?
JordanBecause you know that I feel like Italy it was okay, so Italy was really fun, it was really hot, and I definitely struggled being pregnant in Italy because of the heat. And I know like you were giving me pointers, which I was using all of them, but like it's still like there when we went to Vatican City, so oh my gosh, wait, so like my post that I did where it's my birthday, but this year looks a little different, which I was like, I think people will assume it's because I was in Italy, but really it's because I'm pregnant.
FabienneI knew it. I mean, obviously, I knew it. Not like an Einstein moment here, but that was the first and that I was because it is different because you're not there with the two of you, you are with the three of you. Yeah, I mean, so you were in Italy, so still it was like a very special moment. Yes, but yes, oh my god. And wait, I sorry, sorry, no, no, sorry, no, what the the thing is, I because I always get so fucking excited when I see you, and like when you invite me over for the podcast, which is now only just literally the second time, but still, still, it still counts. Um, I feel like so hyper and I feel like that we fall back so easily in like what we used to do, like also with um do we name drop like our old podcasts, or do you not want to?
JordanYes, I think I'm pretty sure I already name dropped them, right? Or was that pre-recording? I don't know. I have I don't know.
FabienneAnd the bookish hour. Um I just feel like so like oh, I have all this energy to talk about books again with you, and then whenever we close off, like with when we like sign off or like sign out, however, you want to call it like the podcast um recording. I'm like, I am so pooped, but it's so fun in the moment itself. Yes, yeah, and was there a reason for me saying this?
JordanUm pregnancy also makes you tired.
FabienneProbably, yeah. There there are a few connections there. I have girl, have you wow? I'm just really going all over the place. I'm so sorry. Have you yes, this is a pregnancy question? Have you experienced the memory loss yet? Like that you forget so many stuff.
JordanOh well, um I normally do, so I haven't experienced it with the pregnancy specifically, because it's I think it's just normal. Oh, okay. Okay, well, good for that. I'm guessing you you have yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's good.
FabienneI I lost my keys on the bus. Oh, I think, or or the subway, could be either or I haven't found them. I've obviously I can make new ones, but they're somewhere on like a commute going wherever. Um I have put my phone in the fridge a couple times. Um my peanut butter jar and um my um close, um, like where where where I put my clothes, like the the closet. I forget case in point. It's it's something I'll tell you that.
JordanThen I would then if this was going based off anything, then Nick would also be pregnant because he put the pepper in the fridge. He puts his phone in the cabinet, and I'm just like, I find it later, and I'm like, wait, why'd you do this?
FabienneI don't think this belongs here.
JordanI don't think this is right, which wait, can wait. I want to talk about Nick is of course Nick's always wanted kids, so he's like so excited that we're like expecting but so like before it actually is kind of cute, which I don't know if I told you this story, so so sorry if you get to hear it again.
FabienneBut he memory loss,
Telling People And Missing Cocktails
Fabienneno kidding.
JordanOh, this is it's perfect, it's perfect, it works. But we um had to go to the vet um for Neva before we went to Italy. So this was like a few weeks ago and back, yeah, a few weeks ago, and um he's just so excited while we're at the vet, he literally tells her that we're expecting, and I was like, I don't, I don't think she needed to know that. She's like um a litter of kittens, perhaps. Well, the thing is, is so we're go we're there with Neva, and so we bring up Italy because we have to get Neva spayed, but we're like, Can we wait a few weeks until we're back? Like, I don't want my sister have having to like watch her while after being spayed. So she's like, Oh yeah, that's fine. Like, oh, where are you? And then asks us, where are you guys going? So we're talking about Italy for a little bit, and then Nick just goes, Yeah, it's the three of us. And so at first, the vet's thinking we're bringing the kitten. She's like, Wait, what? And then she's like, Oh the confusion on her face, and then she figured it out, and she was actually so excited for us, and she was giving us hugs and stuff, and it was like actually so sweet and so wholesome. But I literally left the vet being like, I don't think you needed to tell the vet, but he is so proud.
FabienneThat is so cute to see, though, that he wants to share this news with the world.
JordanIt is, it is really cute, it is cute. He is telling everybody.
FabienneDid he did he did he say, like, uh, did he tell the teller as well, like at the grocery store? Oh my god when like skinning stuff.
JordanIf he had a moment, he probably would.
FabienneUm these beers are only for me because oh my gosh.
JordanIt was so like in Italy, they were which I don't know if this happened to you when you were there, but like a good 50% of the time, they would give us lemon cello at the end of the meal. They always do, but not necessarily like we didn't ask for it, yeah, which would have been great if I wasn't pregnant, but like Nick had to take both of them, yeah, which I'm sure Nick was not mad about, but I was just like, and then every time he would be like, Jordan, geez, you're supposed to wait for me, and then take his because he's taking mine.
FabienneOh, don't drink so fast, honey. Drink slower, it's better, it's better for a kid.
JordanRight, and then I would be holding the empty one like I took it, and I would just smell it.
FabienneOh, a a trick that I see some people, well, people being women in this case, um share online is that when you take a good sniff of like an alcoholic beverage, and then you quickly as much as you can, as fast as you can, like take water. Just to trick your brain. I have tried it, it doesn't work. But maybe for some people, when like your smell, your taste, because everything is like is affected, right, with the pregnancy, so everything's either heightened or it's like dampened. Um, so you could give that a try, you know, get a bottle of limicello, take a shot of water, smell the limicello again, the water, and see if that works.
JordanMaybe, maybe not. I see your face, maybe not. Yeah, it sounds like it's gonna be a disappointment. I am but the whole time I did I did get an affogato in Italy, but like you know how like well, no, well, oh no-ish. So with the gelato, delicious. As soon as I finished the gelato, there's still like pretty much all espresso left.
FabienneYou still don't like it?
JordanNo, no. So I literally gave them back like half a cup of espresso, but like Nick didn't want it, and I just wanted to say I tried it, and I I tried it, and I tried to eat like drink it afterwards, and I was like, So I literally gave them back.
FabienneOh yeah, okay, that's a bummer. I'm sorry.
JordanMe too.
FabienneStill no to be fair, like just a single shot of espresso, just like a long black coffee. I still don't drink myself. I do drink the very slushy, almost milkshaky type iced coffees. Um, those those actually tend to go down really well because they don't taste like coffee at all. It's just like vanilla and cream and sugar. Yeah. Yeah. Lots of it too. I feel very hyper afterwards.
JordanI was living off like the lemon gelato. I just want everything lemon. So now, even back home, I just I get frozen lemonade. That's all I want.
FabienneOh, good for you though, because like citruses, like citrus fruits, also like um like the smaller oranges, like the mandarins, the ones that you can actually like peel.
JordanOranges.
FabienneYes. They are fantastic for your for your system right now, too. So also limits and limes. So like water infused, like with lime. Or lime infused water, I should say. Fantastic. Does the trick. Water infused lime. Just add water to the lime. You know, when you're pregnant, you just invent new stuff, apparently. Yeah, eat.
Cravings Aversions And Protein Talk
JordanYou just never know what you're in the mood for. No. Which have you had any like weird cravings? Because I feel like I haven't.
FabienneOh. Oh, yeah.
JordanYeah.
FabienneIt's luckily it's it's it's not really there anymore. Like I eat pretty normal right now because I really have suffered from the first trimester trenches, is how you called it before. Fantastic wording. Horrible. Um not fun. So I used to be a pescatarian, um, which meant that I only ate fish. Um now I can't have fish because of certain, I think, minerals or whatever it's in there. The the doctors are not really sure if that's good for your body right now. So, like tuna, I can't have. I can only have a fatty salmon. Um, but they say you do need to get some protein, so maybe you should start thinking about eating meat again. So here I am eating chicken, which I couldn't stand the first few weeks because first of all, I had to overcome my eating chicken again. So that was the first step. Then it was the smell and the texture of a raw chicken breast, which I couldn't handle. And then it was the smell of it cooking, which I also could not handle. Um, but the taste afterwards when it was just like on my plate, the best ever. Very euphoric, I have to admit.
JordanUm you just need Jay to make the chicken.
FabienneOh, he does now, so that's good. Oh, oh, that's he actually does a lot of cooking at this at this point, so I'm very thankful and very grateful for that. Um, but the weirdest craving that I have had is um, you know, the Cheetos chips, like the um the cheesy, cheesy powder flavored, weird, uh I guess cylindrell type chips. Yeah. Um and then with pickles. Like pickle, like, like pickles, like you know, like a pickle jar, and then you have like a like a miniature pickle and then the Cheetles. Yeah. Yeah, but then like them together. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And also, and also like orange juice with Coca-Cola cereal. Do not ask me how that even like comes to mind. But it did, and I drank it, and it was fantastic. The thought of it now makes me sick to my stomach. But also frozen grapes. I told you those two. Frozen grapes.
JordanI did not like the frozen grapes. I did not like I did not the ca the consistency, it was like, I think I expected still the pop like um from like a normal grape, but it was like yeah, it was very crunchy.
FabienneYeah, it was very it had a strange texture. I'll give you that.
JordanYeah, it no, no, no, no, no, no. I feel like I haven't had improvings. No, that's not true. No, I just like in the sense of like, okay, I I want pickles, but I've always liked pickles. So like that's okay, that's okay.
FabienneThat is true, actually.
JordanAnd I do I've been eating a lot of fruit, but am I eating a lot of fruit because it's summer and it's hot? Like basically, my breakfast was fruit in Italy every single day, which was really nice because they have like fruit cups everywhere we went. So I have fruit cup everywhere I went. Good for you.
FabienneI also saw you posting about like scrambled eggs. Did you did you did she have like an aversion toward eggs in the beginning or not at all?
JordanIt would like I would eat them, but then like so that the one um one where I sent like the um eggs and then it was the view, that was in Positano. And basically they were like, Oh, we deliver breakfast for you. Like, what do you want? And we're like, Well, what can we get? And they're like, Oh, well, how would you like your eggs? And we're just like, uh, scrambled, I guess.
FabienneFertilized, but you know, already done. Sorry, that was fucking lame. Well, the way involving a blue joke, it's it's sad.
JordanNo, I love it, I love it. And then they were like, Okay, do you want coffee? And I'm like, Well, I don't, and they're like, juice, and I'm like, I guess, sure, water.
FabienneCome on, just give me it all, just no coffee.
JordanBut then they gave us this like huge plate, but it was like more so that the eggs were just because it was there, not like wanting it or not wanting it one way or the other. They were good, they were tasty. I enjoyed them.
FabienneGood. Good. I really miss a runny yolk. Good, thank goodness. Like like a listen, like a sunny side up.
JordanDo you not like eggs right now?
FabienneOr is no, I do, but I can't have it. Apparently. I at least that's what the Dutch doctors tell me. Like you can't. You can't have eggs? Well, I can have eggs, but it's not like not with a runny yolk. You make sure that the like the the yellow of the egg is pretty well cooked. So when I have like a boiled egg, it I can't have it like be uh even the little littlest bit runny on the inside. It needs to be fully cooked. It needs to be, it needs to look, you know, like when you when you had like an old computer at your parents' house when you were down and you had your mouse, like your cursor, and there was this weird gray ball in the other like underneath it to make it roll. Yeah, it needs to be like that, needs to be that hard boiled.
JordanI love that your mind went to that mouse back at like your grandparents'.
FabienneIt's actually, it's actually a it's honey, it's a common comparison here in the Netherlands.
JordanOh, that's fair.
FabienneSo that's fair. But then again, but really misery.
JordanUm not gonna lie, I didn't know that. Granted, I haven't had any runny eggs. I just been doing scrambled or hard-boiled, but hard-boiled, but nothing. Wait, what? Pard boiled? Hard boiled, but like hard-boiled, like I said.
FabienneI thought you made it like a like a pun, like a but like not hard-boiled, but part boiled. So you could have runny yolks in your hard-boiled eggs.
JordanOh. Never mind me. No pun. Never never mind me. No pun here. Sorry.
FabienneOkay.
JordanBut um, it's it's good to know because yeah, the doctor hasn't told me that here.
Prenatal Appointments And Info Overload
FabienneIt's weird actually, how how how little they disclose information to you. Not necessarily you as in you being like in the US, but also in general, because we came back from a midwife appointment this earlier today. Um, midwife or um GP or um OPG. Yeah, uh they all those terms they confuse me. Um, but what one of these, one of those, um, I had um I had an appointment with them um earlier today, and Jay came with. And the first thing she asked was, Okay, welcome, hi, welcome, how you're doing? Yeah, good, okay, fine. Uh, do you have questions for me? I'm like, questions. I'm sorry, did did I need to prepare questions? It felt like uh a test that I didn't study for. I have no questions. So I was like, uh no, actually, I don't. Oh, well, this makes everything go goes very much more smoother because I also don't have questions for you. We're just gonna like um measure your blood pressure, uh, your blood levels, and then I'm gonna touch your stomach and see how everything is like positioned, and then we're listening to the heart, and uh then you're done. I'm like, okay.
JordanIt was literally a 12-minute appointment. They're so short now. They're so short, because they do the same thing at ours. And I'm like, um, but they don't, but again, they don't tell you anything.
FabienneSo like I could be doing something that maybe I'm not supposed to, but like it is so strange because to be fair, everything is like very much accessible nowadays, like with the internet, like with um the the pregnancy algorithm as well, like everything is pushed toward you in terms of this, like these knowledge plural, that's not even possible, but okay. Um, all these wisdom things and all these information bits, and you're like, okay, well, there's too much information actually to process. How do I responsibly pick what is fitting for me and what is not, and what is like you know, bogus and what is actually facts? And then I feel like all the things that you should or should not eat, or whatever, you know, like all the minerals, all the supplements, all the vitamins that you should take, or is advised, you know, that you should take. No one has ever actually told me from like the doctor's perspective perspective. I only found this out because I looked it up on a feels very contrary telling me stuff, doctor.
JordanNo, right? It's crazy. Anyways, which honestly, can we go back to the algorithm?
Maternity Clothes Sizing Makes No Sense
JordanSo you remember how I said I didn't want to buy any maternity stuff?
FabienneYou fell for it.
JordanI did. I bought two pairs of jeans because but now here's the thing So I bought two pairs of jeans because I'm like, I need something for work that I can like put on that are not my current jeans because they don't fit. Yes, um but a hundred and sixty dollars for these two pairs of jeans, first of all, and I can't even wear them for that long. But besides the point, my other thought process is you know how the pregnancy pants, they like go over your bump, so you're supposed to like pull it up and basically it's jeans on the bottom, and then it's like this stretchy material.
FabienneFabric, yeah.
JordanBut I'm waiting for them to come in, so I don't know how they'll be, but like I'm assuming it will stretch because like I don't have that big of a belly, but it's still a big enough belly that like I can't wear my current jeans, yes. So I'm like, will these pregnancy pants even fit me, or is this like stretchy material gonna just be too loose because it's gonna assume my belly is bigger? So I'm like, did I just spend $160 on pants that still won't fit me?
FabienneThat's actually that's actually a great, great question. Because also I feel like pregnancy clothes and honestly, jeans or like fans, like specifically, this sizing guide for those is so strange because you feel like, should I just order my normal size? Because um, normally, like with jeans or like um the length-wise for jeans, I am either an M size, like a medium, or I am a 29 length or a 26 waist, and that is high waist. Now, of course, I can't wear a high waist because everything is just bursting, so everything should be low waist. So low waist is already normally say like a 30 in the waist. But then again, if you have like medium, large and extra large sizing, like do I still base this off of my regular normal size? And then what is what is the baby bump size here? Like, do we shouldn't we like be measure like measuring like how many weeks are you? Oh, 22, oh 18, oh 14. Then we advise you to these these types. It is it is so whacked. Like there's no clear guidance here.
JordanYou're just like grasping, like in the void, like in the no, but actually, so I'm kind of just like, well, I hope these fit, but like I needed, I like wanted some jeans for work. At least right now, like we can still wear dresses, like that's nice. So it's just like that's actually really helpful. But like when we can't wear dresses, what are we gonna do?
FabienneHonestly, well, the the thing, the thing is though, you actually have okay, so this is also an interesting well, not necessarily debate, but just like a thing to have it being brought up. Um, you work actually in the corporate world. I work in healthcare. So I have like healthcare clothes. So every time that I go into work, I can just wear these loose-fitting flared yoga pants that are either one size up or an actual maternity yoga pants. Um, I just opt for the first for the um for the former because it just like I feel like if I throw them afterwards in a dryer, like two times after each other, they s tend to like get smaller a little bit, so I can wear them like after um uh having uh given birth, hopefully. But then with work, it's every three weeks I have to change my pants. It is disgusting. I feel like a fucking sausage. It's horrible. So I also ordered white flared yoga pants that are machine proof for like this many degrees that you're walk like that that your laundry can handle that is proof by into healthcare because you have to wash it at a higher degree or like a higher degree Celsius Fahrenheit.
JordanI can't really whatever that number is.
FabienneYeah, I got it. Like temperature-wise, I mean. Um so I'm really curious for those because that means that I don't have to switch up my um work clothes as as much as I have now, but it's the worst. So I can I can only think of how difficult this is going to be for you having to go actually into the office, you know. So I'd say flowy dresses and then yeah, call the mama dresses, even if they're not necessarily that have kind of like a crossbody, like with um like with a flap, and then you have like I guess some sort of fabric type belt, and then just like higher it up on the belly, and then just have flow flow a little.
JordanSo I do have a dress that does that, but now that I have a belly and my boobs are getting bigger, it just looks so bad. So it's like, yes, I'll still wear this dress because it's a dress, but I'm just like I see myself in it and I'm like, hmm. But I do I I actually have like in my Amazon cart to purchase this like sweater dress that can maybe just get it like a size up that it's like less noticeable, maybe for now because eventually you do have to tell your work, of course. Well, so technically my boss knows. I just haven't told told HR, but I think do need to do that, yes, but side
Work Timing Promotion And Leave Reality
Jordannote. So I was waiting to tell HR, and I know this sounds so bad, and people might have their own opinions and fuck those people. Yeah, whatever, think whatever you want. But we were doing like at my company, a lot of things were changing. So I didn't want to tell them because I didn't want to ruin or hurt any opportunities that could come my way. So I was like, you know what? If I can hold and if I can hold off, like I I knew I wanted to tell them no later than end of August, beginning of September. So I was going to tell them by this time at some point. But if I could wait and see if any opportunities came my way, then I wanted to do that. And I would like to point out that I got a promotion.
FabienneIf I could give you a my five right now, I definitely would boom.
JordanI am taking it. So, and I got like a whole new job channel, a new like salary. So it's like very exciting. And then honestly, like I got that, but then I was like, okay, well, I know this is coming. Like, let me wait for the paperwork, let me wait for like the new paycheck, and then and honestly, that's gonna like come at the end of this month, so then they can know now, be like, thanks for the promotion. Well, be done for four months.
FabienneBut actually, peace out, Letterbocks.
JordanNo, that's like what I was thinking. I was like, Oh, well, thanks, I'll take this and run.
FabienneHonestly, good for you, and also so great that you have like four months too, like with your um maternity leave. Well done.
JordanWell, honestly, really, it's just three months, and then I'd probably use like a month of PTO, so it's not that great. But I my job's a little flexible. That's why I think there's worse situations. Honestly, I've seen people that that get like six weeks, so I'm like, yeah, all right, at least I have a little bit more than that. So I'll take it.
FabienneThat is not humane, by the way. No, how can you expect to like have this postpartum period with your kid? You know, getting to know one another, get to live with each other, and then all of a sudden, oh sorry, mom's gonna work, baby. Bye. And then like what bye.
JordanNo, yeah, absolutely not. So, but like I do have a coworker that gets six months, and I'm a little jealous.
FabienneIt because it goes based off like she like more senior or no, it goes based off what state you live in.
JordanSo, like, because I live in a different state, like my state is like not as great as her state, which is lame. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that part. Yeah, yeah, so we're not as cool as Europe. So still because how long do you get? You get like forever.
FabienneUm, we do have a bit more, yes. Um, so technically we get like three months as a standard, which is the same than for you, but then which is also um like full salary, but then you can also have the parental leave. So we have I have like maternity leave, that's three months, uh, full salary, and then I have parental leave, which is 70% of your salary, um, which is um decided by the government, but then it is company-wise or practice-wise in my my case, um depending on if they pay you out the extra 30%, so you can get like a full salary. So I only have like the 70%, which you know, I can, you know, um how goes that exactly like how how does the saying go? Like with a gift, like a horse and the horse and the mouth. Thank you, that is the one. All right, I can't. So no, I'll take it. So I'll take it. Um, but be since I work as a dental uh um assistant, I have to uh make sure that my um substitute is um, you know, like she knows how everything works. And I also don't want to be like, hey, so I come back and then I leave again for X many weeks and then I come back again, then I leave again. So I take everything. So I have six months. Um so I take my maternity leave, sorry, maternity leave from half December to half June. Which I think actually, and also for you, when you have your maternity leave, we plant this slash non-plant this the best way possible because we can still somewhat look cute in like summer dresses, and then we have like this nestle sort of like you know, like this urge to like nestle and like make everything nice and cozy in your house. Um, and then just like have this weather weather, and then like with the yoga pants, and then just like big sweaters and you look not having a care in the world, and then your baby's there, and then you know, you're just like on the sofa with your blanket and your kit. I mean, that's the best time of the year.
JordanYeah, we we honestly we did it right. We did it right. Like basically when we're when we're doing it, we're like not gonna need to go out, we're not gonna have to feel the urge to go out, and then once it's nice and we want to go out like summer, yeah.
FabienneAnd it's I know, and then hopefully we look good again by that point, so you know you can have your scroller. Have you looked into those yet, by the way? Those things are fucking expensive.
Baby Shower Plans And Registry Wishes
JordanYeah, are you are you doing a baby registry? Like, are you doing like that? Are you doing a baby shower? Any of that stuff?
FabienneI said to Sabina that I am down for one, but I would like to know when it is because I do not want it to be surprised because I can't want to handle surprises and to not handle surprises in this state specifically. And also I do want to have also again, like with the with the um with the gift horse type of situation. I know that it's being sorry, I know that it's being um done for you, but I also would like to have some say in the matter. So I don't want to have like the cliche, like with the weird tastings of the baby food, and then like the weird napkins and like the the dye that you sometimes like hell, that shit. I think I've actually sent you a reel about like this coffee brewery type.
JordanYes. Oh, and I'm gonna do that.
FabienneI would love to have something along those lines, or even like a little brewing. I know that's adorable. So I would I would, you know, I so sorry, yes, yes, yes, you're the yes to your question. I will have a register eventually, and there will be a baby shower.
JordanOkay, so like can I get your registry link at some point? Whether I need to get it from Sabine or you.
FabienneWell, you know, you know what they say about people asking. What do they say? Oh, don't you?
JordanOh, well, don't say that not a thing in the US. Um, I don't think so.
FabienneOh, it's actually okay. To be fair, it is a th okay. The reason why I'm saying this is because obviously now that you also with like nursery rhymes, do you still remember nursery rhymes from little? Because I don't know. So I come across like all these nostalgic, like old Dutch expressions, especially like specifically catered toward kids. Um, when a kid is like begging or like whiny or like asking for something, like, ah, can I please have a lollipop or can I please have a drink? And it's like, you know what they say? People who ask, they get skipped. So you just have to wait and you just have to wait your turn if you are being given it yes or no. Um, that's why I was asking.
JordanGosh darn it, I'm asking and you're giving it.
FabienneOkay. Okay. No whenever I have it up, I mean, the only thing that I have on it now is the only register that I have is an IKEA register that I want to have. Put it like in the baby room, but that's it.
JordanI also, I also um I really want to be invited to your baby shower, but clearly I won't be able to go. But I still want the invite. And I just need you to know that you are invited to my baby shower, but I know you won't be going. But I still want to send you the invite.
FabienneCan't we just like have oh no, because also with the time, of course.
JordanBecause I was I was actually thinking, because maybe if you could plan a trip, like I think it'd be so cool, but I think just because it's happening so late, like we shouldn't be traveling during that time. I think ours, I guess, in mine and yours.
FabienneI think it's going to be like somewhere around November, possibly. My uh, yeah, or like early December.
JordanYeah, mine's mid-November, I'll tell you the date after. You already have it settled. Well, oh my goodness. We're doing it ourselves, like we don't have anybody doing it. So because like I never wanted to do anything for a wedding or like bachelorette parties or anything like that. So I told Nick the one thing I want to do is a baby shower. So, like, we're looking at a couple of venues on Friday um for like where we'll have it. And then my friend's gonna send out the invites so that way I don't have to like do that part, which I'm super grateful for because like I don't want to have to chase anybody. So she'll do that, and then like, but we just need to have like the location before we can send those out.
FabienneOkay, fair. Um, but obviously, indeed, also what you uh assumed, I would love to have your registry too.
JordanWell, good, because you're getting you're getting invited to the baby shower. I just have you marked down as zero because you won't attend.
FabienneUh so could you please RCP? Um, I would love to, but there is this tiny thing called an aeroplane ticket and just schedules.
JordanAnd like a tiny, a tiny human that is in my uterus. That means oh yeah, that part two. Yeah.
FabienneOh my goodness. I bought like a knit, like a knit hat the other day at this market. Um, and it was like too adorable, like this light coffee, sorry, like this light coffee collar chetty bear brown. And I'm like, oh, it's adorable. And then my friend was like, oh yeah, yeah. So is this for like right when it is born? Like, uh yeah, okay. So this is the size that needs to go through your vagina. I'm like, uh yeah. I can't you know, I do I have it here? Doesn't really matter. I think it's I don't want to think about it. It's bigger than the size of this can. And I'm like, oh yeah. Fun times, fun times
Final Laughs And Sign Off
Fabienneahead.
JordanLet's not let's not let's not think about that. Well, on that note, I feel like this is a perfect ending to the baby announcement catch up episode, which is really just about babies and yeah, ketchup babies and ketchup. Yes.
FabienneMustard, fries.
JordanNo, no, just oh honestly, that was I almost wish Smuddy Book Podcast still existed for that reason only. I'm so sad we actually got rid of it. I wish we didn't. I wish we kept it and it was still up there.
FabienneSome things are just best as a memory, honey. You need to then you're like who we cherish those the most.
JordanSo that is true. That is true. Okay, okay. Well, on that note, thank you so much for coming back. Of course. I already can't wait until you'll be back again. I don't mean neither. Okay, thank you.